She's JV to your varsity
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
