You can't special order awesome
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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