I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
