decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
