you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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