also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
