i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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