I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
