she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i think my mom watched the whole time
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
