she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize