When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
