He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
