Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
