so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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