The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
