these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it was like eating out sand paper
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We had to coat check the pizza.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
