made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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