You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Blood and glitter go together right?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize