Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize