I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
