and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
