You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
50% drunk capacity currently
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
