Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
