community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
