I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
