Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
