How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
