I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize