you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You made out with two different species that night
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
