I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
