Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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