Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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