I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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