Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
A bitchslap is in order.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
