and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I am one with the molecules
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Congratulations! We have a period
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
