Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
