so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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