If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
