I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
