So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
