the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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