Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
