I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
