just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
