operation harelip BJ is a go
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
