Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
