I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
