think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
