Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
