I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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