i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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