the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
