can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
