So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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