A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
