You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
