I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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