Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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