BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
