Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
