Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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