i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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