Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
