I heard we made out
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
