did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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