After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
