Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Randomize
