I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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