Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
