This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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