the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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