Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
he's single and there are thong briefs.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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