marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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