I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm like, not good at living.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize