he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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