I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
