I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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